But before we start we need quick FAQ time:

Q) Isn't this tzatziki?

A) Probably, who knows. I wouldn't actually call it tzatziki as people will whinge and complain that I'm not doing it 'right', so unless someone has already coined "awesome yoghurt/cucumber/garlic/mint salad/dip" this recipe is mine and 100% original. As such it is also flawless.

Q) How can this recipe be both a salad and a dip?

A) With flexibility - the type of flexibility that only a flawless recipe such as this one contains.

Q) Why AYCGMS/D?

A) Because in addition to being awesome, AYCGMS/D is a quick, healthy and refreshing salad/dip and is probably better than anything else you'd usually eat.

* * *

Ok brilliant, now that we've got that out of the way we may begin making AYCGMS/D.

Ingredients:

300g natural yoghurt

1 mediterranean cucumber

2-4 garlic gloves

1 handful of fresh mint leaves

Alright we're finally here, so buckle up and get ready for awesomeness.

The first step is to clear your cutting board of any ingredients you don't need. This will provide you with adequate space to cut your ingredients.

Grab your cucumber and begin peeling it. If you are unrefined and don't own a peeler with a bit of patience you may use a knife. Regardless of your approach the final product should look like this:

In the event that your cucumber does not look like this dispose of the cucumber and let go of the knife. If your cucumber is consistent with the image above, proceed to chop off both ends of the fruit.

Now comes the most challenging part of the recipe, so I recommend taking a break at this point to stretch your fingers and/or go for a short stroll around the kitchen until you feel comfortable and ready.

Upon your return, dice the cucumber.

This may be achieved by cutting it into 4-5 slices, then into 16-25 sticks and finally into a large quantity of small cucumber cubes.

Your cucumber cubes will need to be accompanied by minced mint.

If you haven't already, rinse your mint leaves to cleanse them from potentially harmful impurities, then mince away.

You're almost there - place your minced mint and cubed cucumber into a suitable bowl.

We're now almost ready to add the garlic, but first it's time for me to elaborate on the flexibility of this awesome recipe.

The garlic will essentially be the 'oomph', so altering the quantity makes a large impact on the outcome of your AYCGMS/D. If you're planning to savour your AYCGM as a salad, you probably don't want an overpowering amount of garlic and should therefore stick to around 2 cloves. On the other hand, if you're planning to enjoy your AYCGM as a dip of sorts, you may want to use up to 4 cloves to give it that extra kick in your face.

You will have to make this decision, but either way, place your garlic, clove by clove, into your garlic crusher.

If you are a bogan and don't own a garlic crusher use your fists, a club, or whatever other blunt objects you find lying around your neanderthal cave.

Now crush that fool.

Scrape the garlic into your bowl and add a pinch of salt.

If you're watching your salt intake (or going to whinge about me not mentioning salt in my ingredients) then skip this step, but a little pinch is nice. I personally like to use Australian crystal lake salt because I believe its fine aroma differentiates my cooking. If at the very least you don't have rock salt just grab some table salt from the floor of your cave and let's move on.

It's now time to add our yoghurt.

Add it.

The quantity mentioned within the ingredients was just a guess so add as much or as little as you like. If you're awesome you'll naturally add the correct quantity on first go. If your AYCGMS/D does not turn out awesome it will thus probably be due to the fact that you're not awesome and did not add the correct quantity of yoghurt.

Once everything is in the bowl start mixing. This is serious business, mix for a good minute at least. The cucumber and mint will appear mixed within moments but they're only deceiving you - you will have to persist and mix on to properly disperse the garlic goodness within your AYCGMS/D.

With a bit of luck you should finish up with something like this.

That's it.

You've won.

aycgmsd@gmail.com